For urgent release:
CEO, AssBeeAss
Dear commuters
According to media reports, our Sengkang LRT broke down inauspiciously on the first day of CNY. This in incorrect.
We would like to clarify that our trains do not break down as often as SMRT’s. We were in fact conducting a train track tour, as requested by commuters who have no relatives or friends to visit during this festive season.
As you can see from the image below – 15 smiling faces – commuters were clearly enjoying the track tour and scenery.
The loud boom – heard by residents living as far as Jurong – came from the failed ingnition of fireworks which were attached to the back of the train. This was meant to be a surprise for Sengkang residents but, unfortunately, it all went up in … black smoke.
At the end of the tour, these ‘tourists’ were also treated to a sumptuous CNY lunch, similar to SMRT’s tah pow ‘reunion’ dinner.
AssBeeAss would like to thank everyone involved for making this novel track tour a success.
We look forward to giving Singaporeans more surprises during every festive occasion, not only during CNY.
Regards
Scholar and (Res) LTC Gan Juay Kiat
CEO, AssBeeAss
likedatosocanmeh 