The Ass Tee, Singapore’s leading online media, recently interviewed 5 ordinary Singaporeans at a coffee shop to feel the pulse of voters before GE 2015. They are:
– Mr Bo Tuck Chek, 4-decade job hopper
– Mr Muthu s/o Pandai, manager
– Mr Paul Lampard (Eurasian), grassroots leader, ex-cop and town council contractor
– Mr Chin Buay Song, retrenched IT manager turned taxi driver
– Mr Goyang Bin Kaki, delivery driver (retrenched supervisor)
Ass Tee: Thank you all for coming to the interview. Ass Tee strongly disagrees with other media whose ‘surveys’ are likely to be fake, as in fake degrees. 
As such, we are conducting our independent survey on ordinary Singaporeans’ take on the PAP government.
Pre 2011 GE, nobody had thought the loss of a GRC was possible. Recently, word on the ground is more GRCs and SMCs will be lost and PAP is in panic mode. Many are also saying this will be the mother of all watershed elections. At Ass Tee, we don’t just listen to coffee shop talk. We come to the coffee shop to verify if this is indeed the case. OK, let’s start with Mr Chin.
Chin: I was in the IT industry for 20 years, recently retrenched and had no choice but to become a taxi driver to support my family. The PAP government has been talking so much cock about helping locals but behind our backs, invite foreigners to our lunch. Parliament continues to be a wayang and better we name it ‘pariahment’.
Pandai: Ha ha. That’s a good one bro, “pariahment”. A real parliament represents the people. Our bloody pariahment represents businesses and PAP’s interests. It’s about time we put a stop to all the wayang.
Kaki: Last time I was a supervisor at an SME earning below-market pay. But I also kena replaced by you-know-who. Make use of my motor bike license and do delivery, earn less relak more I don’t mind. Even increasing number of foreign motorcycles in my new profession I also don’t mind. But look at our COE – for no bloody reason increase by more than $4,000 since 2014! This one I mind and I think the message on top of one Toa Payoh block is what I want to say about PAP. All my brothers also tak boleh tahan PAP now.
Pandai: Yes, what Kaki says is true. (Pandai takes out his tablet and shows everyone the chart below) In less than 2 years, motorcycle COE has increased by more than 200%.
Image source: coe.sgcharts.com
Kaki: Many of my brothers are not earning very much but PAP still want to make more money from us. Pui! The increase will affect our lepak lifestyle and we got to work harder to compete with foreigners – their motorcycles got no COE. Apa ini level playing field the PAP say. We are angry with PAP and all my brothers promise one thing – PAP gonna be history. PAP must be got no otak to think we are cheapskate and can buy our votes with a few hundred$ in pre election goodies.
Ass Tee: The next question is about AHPETC getting fixed for not cleaning hawker centres, conviction for operating unlicencsed fair and now MND withholding $14 million tax dollars. What is your opinion?
Bo: I never study a lot but I can see PAP want to fixing everybody. PAP think taxpayer money is Ah Kong money it can anyhow use. Maybe last time can because no internet, little people know la. My friend support PAP stay in Aljuneid oso pay tax but tell me he dam T L now kena this thing from PAP. PAP don’t care town council cannot provide service because they hold back Ah Kong money. They anyhow hantam their supporter because they just want power. Fair or not??
Many Aljuneid resident say want to make PAP repent hor, not 5 years but 50 years!
Lampard: But government is not wrong in protecting residents because issue concerns public governance and accountability.
Pandai: WTF you talking about public governance and accountability. Then how come no one knows where our CPF is invested in? Is Temasek CEO, PM Lee’s wife, paid $50 million pay package, or $100 million? How come money from our reserves paid to Temasek and GIC directors no need to disclose in parliament? How come all the MPs no need to disclose their sources of income to the people but only to PM Lee? How come ex president didn’t know reserves were used but nothing happened?
In AHPETC’s case, MND really got no case because High Court has already dismissed it. Compared to how PAP has been managing nearly $1 trillion of our reserves, we are talking about mini peanuts in AHPETC’s case!
Bo: Ya lor, I oso quite suspect something very wrong wif our gahmen. This cannot tell, that cannot tell and when they tell, give some number got no meaning. They think we are stupid isit? I now start to ellucate my brain and read alot and I oso read very chim thing like how Tumasek reward their director. Pandai maybe can confirm and show this page on his tabret – Tumasek talk about 25% pay cut, performing bonus, crawback, medium term, long term and many things. All people want to know is how much pay the directors get but what we get is NO FIGURES.
Talk so much oso no use la. PAP just want to hide how much pay directors get from we all the taxpayer. Own self not accounted still want WP to be accountant make PAP siah sway la.
Chin: If there’s accountability, MOM minister and union chief should be sacked for depressing wages and replacing Singaporeans with foreigners. Minister Lim Double S has suddenly agreed PAP previous policy all bullshit and says will have tight foreign labour policy with immediate effect. But it’s too late cause I already lost my job. Thousands of others also in the same boat.
Bo: And oso that Minister Laulan Wong all of a sudden from don’tch know where he start to bark at oppo town council like a seow kow. He say …
Pandai: Sorry, I think Bo is referring to Minister Lawrence Wong who has confirmed he is another jiak liao bee minister. (referring to Parliament website information on his tablet) This guy has not spent a single day in the private sector and knows nothing about ordinary Singaporeans’ issues. All his ‘achievements’ are in the public sector and he was also a principal private secretary to PM Lee. He’s all part of this dangerous groupthink.
Bo: Soli, soli. Minister Lawlern I sala pronoun.
Kaki: Wong is also not from the MND but somehow appointed himself, or maybe by his leader, to anyhow hantam AHPETC. Even after the High Court dismissed MND’s applications to appoint independent auditors, Wong attacked Sylvia Lim and called her a liar. In 2013, Minister Vivian had accused WP of lying but the WP was smart enough and did not fall into PAP’s trap. Wong must be the stupid one to think the WP will fall into PAP’s trap this time.
Chin: Wong thinks he is above the law by claiming “there is dishonesty in the town council” and the WP is “an irresponsible or dishonest party..”. If Wong has evidence, he should report to the CPIB but if not, he will make himself look like a fool. Cannot believe this is the caliber of PAP ministers. Bo is smarter than Wong anytime.
Bo: Thanks man. I aready know some ministers Hi Q lower than my one.
Pandai: This is not the first time Wong is barking like a mad dog. In Dec 2014, the nation-building press published his first attack on WP in “WP town council and the sound of silence”. If you substitute WP with PAP, the article makes more sense.
Although Wong is helming another ministry and receiveing more than $3000 daily from taxpayers, it appears he has too much free time. Maybe it’s time to reduce ministerial salary again or these clowns will continue to play politics at our expense. If there’s too little for Wong to do at the Ministry of Culture, Community and Youth, why did PAP set up this ministry in the first place?
Chin: If we want real accountability, we must vote for people like Kenneth J, Tan J S, Chee Soon Juan, Singaporean First Party and as many opposition parties into our unique pariahment. Singaporeans should stop believing in PAP’s crap that no one else can govern better than them. Just look at ALL the screw ups objectively and compare Singapore with developed Western countries instead of less developed ones to see the real picture.
Kaki: PAP is really stupid to tarnish WP’s reputation by labeling it an “irresponsible and dishonest party”. It is the Aljuneid GRC constituents who will decide and many PAP supporters now realise they have become PAP’s “collateral damage”. PAP does not give a hoot about its supporters and they have belatedly realised the true PAP is all about power and greed.
Bo: Lawlern Wong got no brain or what? WP first time win GRC, MP all happy got 16K every month plus town councilor allowance and salary from full time job, I don’tch see why they must be dishonest. I mean, they go pariahment got 80 PAP staring at them they dare to be dishonest meh? Laulan, soli, Lawlern think WP dare to do something wrong under 80 PAP nose, right in front of them? Ha ha, he think WP dare to rob the police station! No wonder Chin say I smarter than Lawlern. Ha ha ha.
Ass Tee: Ok guys, there are actually other issues but we are really running short of time today. Just a quick poll before we end – who wants an end to PAP dominance in parliament at the next GE, keechiu!
(All except Lampard raise their hands.)
Ass Tee: So it seems 80% of Singaporeans want PAP out, each for his personal reasons. We respect your views and will share them with fellow Singaporeans online. Thank you and have a pleasant day.
likedatosocanmeh 
Nearly died laughing !!!!!!!
🙂 share your joy.