Category Archives: HUMOUR

From LKY’s garden city to PM Lee’s fountain city?

In 1967, LKY had a vision: transform Singapore into a garden city. After his death, LKY’s son PM Lee has an even bigger vision: transform Singapore into a fountain city. Fountains will be everywhere soon and we need not go … Continue reading

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Where is our Swiss standard of living, Lau Goh?

Dear MP Goh I am an ordinary citizen who started working in the 1980s. As the former PM, I recall you had promised Singaporeans a ‘Swiss-standard’ of living but unfortunately have not delivered. It appears that a lot of what … Continue reading

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Fake news: MRT operator confirms Pubic Transport Council fake reasons to hike fare

For immediate release: Pubic Transport Council (PTC) fake reasons for impending fare hike From: CEO, AssMRT Dear commuters Please accept my apology for all the epic screw ups and the failure of my company to identify the root cause. 😦 … Continue reading

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20160720 AssMRT issues press release on new ‘waterfall’ feature in rectified train

Dear commuters Thank you for your compliments on our latest waterfall feature installed by our Chinese manufacturer. Our Chinese partner had understood you were all fuming at our increasing major disruptions as well as the hairline cracks found on 26 … Continue reading

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20160708 Is robbing a foreign talent now?

It’s difficult to keep track of what PAP considers foreign talents. It appears robbing is now one of them. Ang moh foreign talent robbed Standchart bank of $30,000 on 7 July CNA Besides robbing, cheating is probably another foreign talent … Continue reading

Posted in HUMOUR, IMMIGRATION | 2 Comments

20160511 Turning failures into success with our pay and pay model

Press to release Pee M Oh Sinkapore 11 May 2016 The coverment would like to share the secret of our success with citizens and other covernments around the world: money talks. Our pariahment has given the green light to put … Continue reading

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20160425 Lelong, lelong … 1-year Indian MBA degree advertised on SPH portal only $230!

Ah Kow: Bro, got some good news. No need to listen to PAP productivity bullshit because we can double our pay. Ahmad: Kow, you sure or not. Better don’t do anything illegal OK. Kow: Trust me just one time – … Continue reading

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20160112 AssMRT: More major disruptions akan datang, commuters should accept their fate

AssMRT announcement Dear loyal commuters, We refer to the latest, but not the last, major disruption on the evening of 9 January. We are pleased to inform you that we have received were more compliments and constructive suggestions than brickbats. … Continue reading

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20150729 Pure Aristocratic Party (PAP) indispensable to Sinkapooreans, clarification

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (Clarification by King Lee) Pure Aristocratic Party (PAP) is indispensable to Sinkapooreans Sinkapoor, 32 July 2015 Sinkapooreans must understand and accept our unique form of government – we are a demo(n)cracy only in name but aristocracy in … Continue reading

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20150609 ‘Survey’ shows 80% Singaporeans want end to PAP’s pariahment

The Ass Tee, Singapore’s leading online media, recently interviewed 5 ordinary Singaporeans at a coffee shop to feel the pulse of voters before GE 2015. They are: – Mr Bo Tuck Chek, 4-decade job hopper – Mr Muthu s/o Pandai, … Continue reading

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