20150421 Singaporeans are happy with PAP’s new ‘Instant Degree Accepted’ policy

(If you are overly sensitive, please do not read this post)

Overheard an animated discussion by four true blue Singaporean residents at a nearby coffee shop. The talk of the town is currently about IDA’s defence of its staff with a fake degree from the Southern Pacific University.

Bo Tao Now: 2015 will be a good year man. We no need to work part time delivery or mover. Gahmen cakap instant degree accepted by IDA OK, no problem. Now we local people can also find job with good pay. Wat you think?

Otak bin Kosong: Bro, this is first time I sayang PAP, give everyone green lighter to upgrade. After we upgrade, we can earn same pay as minister and …

Uratian: Hello, IDA is now in hot soup for allowing a dishonest employee to earn our tax dollars. Government will soon flip flop, sack her but won’t apologise. S O P la you guys still dont know?

Puthumayam: I think Uratian is right because I read IDA is “continuing to look into the case concerning” the FT who has become a new citizen.

Bo: Look and look. Want to look how long? The YPAP case in 2011 still looking until today. Need 56 man years meh?

Puthu: That one not the same leh. You ….

Bo: Otak and I don’t care la. We cannot find job long time aready. All the fakers take our job. Now we got chance from gahmen, you and Uratian want to sabo don’t want we upgrade? We friend or not?

Otak: I and Bo the most terok la. You two got diploma can senang senang find job. Just nice PM oso say get diploma better than get degree. You cannot understand Bo and I are broke.

Bo: Otak and I can only find part time job, delivery or remove people house. Now I can get instant degree, instant promote to manager! Can earn $4,000 one month and the oyster is my world.

Otak: I know wat to do – start a business. You apa macham?

Bo: Yesterday, I aready ask my friend help me upgrade. See my apply letter and my degree, I think the IDA CEO also takut.

Bo: My friend say got job at IDA for chief of security. I now qualify for the job, maybe one day take over CEO of IDA. Ha ha.

Uratian: But I think you sure kena caught. Government always super alert after kena caught with pants down. Remember the Malaysian teacher drive through Woodlands Checkpoint like invisible lady? Got caught 3 days later for illegal tour of Singapore then no more incident after that.

Bo: Hello, where got no more, dont anyhow say hor. One more gold Mercedes rush through Woodlands Checkpoint, then everyone kena scold by Teo Chee Hean then they all wake up. Now IDA not yet wake up la. Need 2 time happen then gahmen wake up. I more clever then gahmen.

Puthu: Wow, your politics damn good bro. But be careful because sometimes the government don’t make 2 mistakes. Remember the Little India riot where the minister went down and could immediately smell alcohol in the air and blame …

Bo: I know what you want to say la – they make one sibei big mistake and cover up blame alcohol, go to pariahmen pass the law and now 10.30 cannot drink right? But don’t forget hor, after one year then drinking kena ban. Means they continue to sleep for one more year!

Puthu: OK you sibei kiang but be careful OK.

Bo: So bro, what you want to do with the new lobang?

Otak: I want to do business – supply same thing to IDA workers but other company. 200% sure I can make money. You become my first customer I give special discount OK. My nephew aready tolong me print my name card and design website. See:

Name: Dr O. T. Kos
B.B.A. (Acc. Hons.) Business Class,
LL.B., B.F.A., D.D.S., A.B.C., M.B.A., X.Y.Z., Ph.D., (technology in printing)

Otak: All my Singapore brothers will support me and this one win-win for everyone. Everyone I help upgrade like HDB upgrading and I macham HDB earn a lot of money from the people. Thank you PAP for our system base on crazy merit I can succeed, sama sama 2 Malay ministers also make it same way. I love merit.

Uratian: Well, you guys better be careful because IDA is preparing to sack Nisha. She graduated in 2001, obtained her MBA in 2006 and has probably used her highest qualification in her application for citizenship. ICA is likely to be already involved and cannot lose face. PAP already planning some wayang if not citizens will lose trust in ICA.

Bo and Otak: K bro, we must go now prepare for our new life.

Puthu: Government is wrong to close one eye but you guys are also on the wrong side of the law. Be very careful.

They parted ways and I thought to myself how silly of them to think they could compete on a level playing field when even before competition begins, citizens are leveled by PAP’s policies!

So how many thousands of fake degrees are out there? Why are fake degrees acceptable to our government? Who approved Nisha without conducting any due diligence? Will the PAP not address the issue of accountability, again? Many questions but no answers.

This entry was posted in HUMOUR. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to 20150421 Singaporeans are happy with PAP’s new ‘Instant Degree Accepted’ policy

  1. Lucy Koh says:

    Thank you for such an interesting coffee-shop eavesdrop.

    How about another article to appeal for help from the incumbent?
    It goes something like that:

    Dear Gov,

    May we, the Singapore citizens, have a National Conversation where
    we are taught how to give ‘standard answers’ when questioned by the
    white foreigners on the followings:

    1) Why did your Gov employ people with ‘fake’ qualifications? Does this mean
    the ‘talented HR’ is also using similar qualifications and so they ‘recognised’ how
    talented the interviewees are?

    2) Why did your Gov take so long to ‘decide’ on the next action for offenders
    with ‘fake’ qualifications but so quick to ‘act’ on TRUE, HONEST qualified
    personal views of a teenager?

    (Note: These are just a few of the more recent happenings that NEED
    ‘urgent’ attention, by our Gov standard. I believe other readers can come
    up with more questions that needed URGENT ANSWERS from
    our authority.)

    This is THE FATE that Singaporeans have come to!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s