20130711 NTUC undergoes major revamp after child abuse case

(90 per cent non-factual, you figure out the 10 per cent)

NTUC has business interests ranging from cradle to grave industries, muscling out smaller businesses with citizens’ money.

NTUC teachers are actually Not Trained Until Certified so it should not come as a surprise when more cases of abuse start to surface later.

But truth be said, NTUC teachers also bore the brunt of abuse from NTUC management quietly because it monopolises the childcare industry with unlimited government support. Many teachers have been overworked but did not want to speak up for fear of losing their rice bowl.

As a union, NTUC has always treated workers as cogs greasing our government’s enormous GDP machine. Why should anyone expect NTUC teachers to be any different?

It is sad to find out children are taught violence from such a young age. NTUC should clarify its curriculum.

Parents should have known something was amiss when NTUC management could not even spell ‘school’ correctly. They insisted on trusting the NTUC brand after having been brainwashed by the mainstream media for almost 5 decades.

Things are about to change though with a brilliant idea from none other than the union leader himself.

Lim Swee Say, who could break bottlenecks of demand and supply in the economy is a well respected figure who could perform a magical act called ‘maximising the upside and at the same time minimising the downside’. (But many cynical netizens said he was thinking with his backside) He is so skillful in magic that he made workers poorer when their peanuts salaries are further reduced, appearing in the bank accounts of the rich. His greatest performance was his monthly CPF statements appearing from thin air when every CPF member, including other cabinet ministers, receive theirs only once a year.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElKCso_muLs&feature=player_detailpage (special CPF member talking with a patronising audience)

Despite sacking the teacher, a MOS (Transport) giving her 2 cents worth and MSF’s investigations, nothing seems to have placated parents. After the second sleepless night,
Swee Say, better known as Double S, decided that N T U C has become a future liability and its time for change.

But he wanted to use the existing alphabets because its patrons are familiar with them. So the only way was to make the new acronym more catchy and meaningful. Anything else but N T U C, which must by now be extremely detested by many. If it’s universal and easily understood by foreigners as well, perhaps there will be opportunities for overseas expansion, not unlike our transport operator ComfortDelgro.

He wanted to portray an organisation which is Caring, Understanding, Notable and Terrific – C U N T!

Again, this single syllable beats the 4 syllable N T U C hands down. Supermarket cashiers will have less sore throat from asking patrons if they are N-T-U-C members a thousand and one times everyday but instead if they are CUNT members.

Less educated patrons will have no issue with the pronunciation. It’s also widely used among Ang Mohs. For Double S, he’ll probably try to coin something like maybe it’s a win-win-win-win situation with an annoying grin.

As with his cheaper, better and faster slogan, (C B F, some think it stands for other things) Double S thought he hit the jackpot once again. A fatter bonus this year?

He hopes to get the support of the government for a massive membership drive soon. Hopefully, this costly PR exercise will
create a positive image for union members and parents will continue sending their children to a school which has removed violence from its curriculum.

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